I Can't Give This Post a Title Because My Daughter is Graduating Today and I Have No Time to Go to Confession

Cardinal Mahony, who built the ba-zillion dollar hideous yellow monstrosity (not-so-affectionately nicknamed the Taj Mahony) against heavy protest from his diocese (AKA the little people) now uses his pretentious website to declare "Archdiocese Begins Process to Fund Future Settlements in Civll Cases."  Because, you see, these lawsuits were a complete surprise to him.  As you will no doubt see once the DA takes a crowbar to his filing cabinet.

My favorite quote in Mahony's missive:

I have often said over these past years that God’s grace is more powerful than the evil of sinful actions.

Indeed he has.  And I have often found it ironic that the comment makes me feel better about the commentor.

Here is the very obvious solution to this crisis:  sell the Taj Mahony to some meat packing firm and let the building be what it looks like it is.  The meat packers can rent it out to various cults at night to hold their pagan services, for the extra money it must take to heat that monstrosity in the winter.  (Wait.  I guess you can't heat a meat packing plant.  I guess the meat packers just wear coats while they're working?  Obviously this was never one of my summer jobs.  Anyway, I'm sure the meat packers could use some extra cash and I don't want the pagans prowling the streets looking for a place to disembowel small woodland creatures, or whatever it is that they do.  Oh man, now the pagans are going to team up with the manicurists.  I'm going to have to hire a bodyguard.)

With as many pagan services as have already been held there, how much would it take to deconsecrate the place?  (I'm assuming it was validly consecrated in the first place.  But it could have been one of those non-denominational services where the pro-abortion mayor and the nuns with the smoking cauldron and the Buddhist monks and the Indian in full head gear releasing a hawk and Barbara Boxer and six liturgical dancers dressed like Stevie Nicks stand in a big circle around the square altar... I can't remember.  The occasions all run together in my mind by  now.) 

Anyway, if the Taj Mahony has even half its value at resale, I can't see who would lose in this arrangement. 

Ah yes, Yertle the Tutrle would no longer have his throne.  I keep hearing rumors from substantial sources that life is going to imitate art in this particular case, any day now.  And we know where Yertle ends up.

There is good news in all of this:  I will be in L.A. (more on that soon) and if a bulldozer comes within three blocks of St. Charles Borromeo to begin the $12 million wreckovation, I will call the L.A. Times and point them to the above referenced statement, and raise big public holy hell.  AMDG.

For those of you who don't have a 5 year-old or a good memory, I present Dr. Zeuss' Yertle Cardinal the Turtle:

On the far-away island of Sala-ma-Sond,
    Yertle the Turtle was king of the pond.
    A nice little pond. It was clean. It was neat.
    The water was warm. There was plenty to eat.
    The turtles had everything turtles might need.
    And they were all happy. Quite happy indeed.

They were... until Yertle, the king of them all,
    Decided the kingdom he ruled was too small.
    "I'm ruler", said Yertle, "of all that I see.
    But I don't see enough. That's the trouble with me.
    With this stone for a throne, I look down on my pond
    But I cannot look down on the places beyond.
    This throne that I sit on is too, too low down.
    It ought to be higher!" he said with a frown.
    "If I could sit high, how much greater I'd be!
    What a king! I'd be ruler of all that I see!"

And Yertle, the Turtle King, gave a command.
    He ordered nine turtles to swim to his stone
    And, using these turtles, he built a new throne.
    He made each turtle stand on another one's back
    And he piled them all up in a nine-turtle stack.
    And then Yertle climbed up. He sat down on the pile.
    What a wonderful view! He could see 'most a mile!

"All mine!" Yertle cried.  "Oh, the things I now rule!
    I'm the king of a cow! And I'm the king of a mule!
    I'm the king of a house! And, what's more, beyond that
    I'm the king of a blueberry bush and a cat!
    I'm Yertle the Turtle! Oh, marvelous me
    For I am the ruler of all that I see!"

The rest is here.  Although it's highly likely that you had to live in Los Angeles in the pre Taj Mahony era to fully appreciate it.

Comments

[Undercover Black Man]

Greetings, Karen. David Mills here. I know your sister Barbara... just discovered that both of you are blogging. Very cool. Me too.

I'm a TV writer myself; David Milch took me under wing a decade ago when I was on staff at "NYPD Blue." Been doing the pilot hustle for nine years now... a soul-crushing way to make a living as a writer.

One of these days I'd love to interview you about your experiences on "Hill Street Blues"... the show that made me want to write for TV. (Years ago, it was a dream book project of mine to do a combination oral history of "Hill Street" and "St. Elsewhere," interviewing everyone who ever wrote on staff for both shows. That must have been an amazing building to go to every day!)

Anyways... just wanted to introduce myself. Now let me see what you've been blogging about...

[Maureen]

The nice tapestries and the crucifix are portable, even. :)

[mj anderson]

Hey--congrats to Juli!

Catching up by reading backwards. Left you a note of disagreement on your "Seriously" post (Monserrat St. Inigo). It is your penance for going to Spain w/o me.